A Word to our Graduates


Well, graduates, you’ve done it!  You’ve done what only about 30% of Americans over age 25 have done!  You’ve earned a college degree.   We already knew that you were special—you chose to be a Builder.  But let me remind you that this accomplishment, as prestigious and important that it might be, is only just the beginning.

You’ve been trained well, you’ve worked hard, you’ve learned some really important skills—like the point when you absolutely MUST begin writing a paper in order to finish on time, how to find quality research for that paper, how to make a kickin’ presentation, and maybe even the best angle for your selfie to accentuate your face.  You’ve come away with relationships that have nurtured you, challenged you, and hopefully shown you that you are stronger than you thought you were.  You have finished one really important goal, but today, or tomorrow, rather, another one begins. 

Tomorrow is when you decide who you’re going to be when you’re not a student anymore.  Oh, I understand, some of you will still be a student.  You’ll go to grad school and you’ll get to keep marking your days and weeks in assignments completed, in books read, in tests passed.  But the time will come eventually when you must set your own deadlines for things.  When your boss wants the project completed by Monday but you already had plans all weekend.  When your paycheck doesn’t quite cover that new wish-list item.  And maybe when it doesn’t even quite cover that electricity bill.  When that happens, and some version of it will happen, here’s what I want you to remember:

You are a Builder.  That means something.  It means that you know how to build.  It’s not the kind of building that we do with a hammer and a nail, but it’s the kind of building of a meaningful life, professional credibility, and relationships with people different from you.  The idea of building these things may seem daunting to you right now.  In fact, I hear some of you saying, “Come on, Ashlee!  Give us a couple of days to celebrate before reality has to set in.”  I know, I know…it may seem harsh of me to remind you of difficulties that lie ahead even as you’re trying to forget the difficulties that you’ve just endured, but I offer these words that President Merriman read actually as an encouragement.  They’re words that were penned by the Apostle Paul when he was in prison.  He told a group of Christians this:  “I’m sure about this:  the one who started a good work in you will stay with you to complete the job by the day of Christ Jesus.”  In other words, keep building.  You’re not done yet.

Most of you lived in Cole or Wallingford Hall when you were a first year student.  You loved it because all your friends were right there.  You could always find somewhere to go to hang out with someone.  You didn’t have to be alone.  But by your second year, you were ready to move to Broadhurst, or Reid, or one of the apartment buildings.  Why is that?  Well, it seems that all of your friends were always right there.  People were always coming into your room to hang out with you.  You could never be alone. 

Here’s my point:  we have to learn to build in our lives.  Moving from a residence hall to an apartment gives you the change to figure out how to live with 3 other people.  It forces you to learn how to cook.  Or at least learn how to make friends with people who cook and then pay for the food.  But even if you did stay in Cole or Wallingford for all four years of college and you were graduating here today, we would have kicked out you tomorrow.  This is an important metaphor for your lives right now.  In some ways, you’ve outgrown your life here.  The challenges that you’ve navigated, quite well, in most cases, have given you skills, aspirations, new visions, and a frontier to conquer.  We would love to keep you here forever, and some of you we will get to keep a little longer, but I’m reminded that you come here, to leave.  College is one of the only times when that’s true.  We’ve built, or at least help you build your first solo house.  The one where mom and dad aren’t there all the time.  But now, we think you’re ready to build your house without us

You see…as the passage reminds us, a good work has begun in you.  A really good work.  It’s one that has set you up for success.  You’ve been loved by your families, your friends, your professors, and yes, I even dare say your administrators.  You’ve been pushed to think more deeply, to write more grammatically correctly, and to speak more persuasively.  And you’re here celebrating today, as well you should. 

 But as you leave, I can’t resist letting you know that even as we’re moving you along in the next steps of your life, we’re praying desperately Paul’s prayer that he prayed for the Phillipians.  God, may these students become mature in their love for others.  May it be richer and deeper.  May they be able to know what is most important in life so that they can spend their lives building that which is most important.  And may they do the right things, things that bring God glory, not just working toward a degree.  So, Builders…you’re not done building.  Just come back and visit every now and then. We wish you all the best and we trust you into God’s able hands.  Until we meet again, know that the one who started a good work in you will stay with you to complete the job.  Thanks be to God.  Amen! 

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A word to my students and former students…


For the past 9 years, I’ve celebrated the End of Year Banquet with the Discipleship team at Southwestern.  It’s always been a great time of sending off our seniors, thanking our Shepherd team (of leaders), and celebrating our year together.  We held our banquet on Friday night for this year and it held a lot more meaning since I’m leaving Southwestern.  I don’t usually give a speech (thought it occurred to me that I didn’t need to wait until I am leaving to share all of my thoughts), but I realized that I had a few more things that I wanted to say to the team of students that I have identified as such a significant part of my calling for the last 9 years.  So…I started writing a few notes down and it turned into a plea to them (and an apology).  I’m sharing it here, because part of what I discovered in wrapping things up here and in writing these thoughts is that I realize how fleeting the college years are.  I have had nearly 200 students who have been on the Discipleship team in the 9 years in which I’ve been the director.  Most of them were here on campus for 4 years, and I suppose that a part of me is wishing that I could share with them a few more “words of wisdom.”  This is a great number of students, and I’ve so privileged to have been a part of their spiritual lives.  I wish that I could sit down with each of the 200 students and tell them a few things.  Since I have a blog, I decided to share it here.  So…if you’re a Disciplesheep, grab a Diet Coke, make some brownies with frosting, pull out an old T-shirt, and read the following.  Even if you’re not a Sheep, you might find a few things of interest below.  I hope so.  

The Discipleship Banquet is one of my absolute favorite things to do every year!  The opportunity to have you all in one place at the same time, the fellowship that I see between you, the stories shared, the people celebrated, the sacrifices that it took to make it to this place.  It means so much to me.

This time is so special as we send the 4th year team off with love!  We celebrate the way that the 3rd year team has led us, we look at the freaked out faces of the 2nd year team when they think about how they will be the ones running the show next year, and we initiate the 1st year team into some of our traditions.

I have a few things that I really want to say as this time comes to an end.  First of all, don’t squander the opportunities in Covenant Group.  I often see the following:

  • 1st year sees one another as classmates—they didn’t to pick who else is in the group, but they keep showing up all year long.
  • 2nd year sees one another as teammates—they’ve been together for a year, know others strengths, weaknesses and quirks.
  • 3rd year sees one another as friends—by this time, many people are often roommates with one another, they’ve likely gone on a mission trip with one another, they enjoy being together.
  • 4th year sees one another as family—this means that they may joke or fight like brothers and sisters, but through it all, they love each other.

Now, I say this and it’s true for the most part.  However, every year there is someone who doesn’t feel like they “fit in” with the rest of their team.  I would even say that it’s true of the team sitting here in this room.  The feelings of not fitting in with the rest of the team may have been fleeting, or, they may have loomed large over your head all year and it’s still looming.  I have a few things to say to you all about this.

  • Here is what I say to ALL of you:  if one of you feels this way, it’s your job to speak up.
  • To the person who feels like an outsider:  I know it’s hard, but speak up and tell others that you’re struggling.
  • To the person who feels like everyone loves each other and there can’t possibly be someone who doesn’t feel connected, I say to you:  make it your mission to see that is true.  Ask everyone in your group how connected they feel and do what you can to show that everyone DOES feel the same way you do.
  • And to the person who sees the outsider but hasn’t spoken up about it:  you may be in the best place of all to draw someone in.  I pray that you’ll do it.

What’s at risk if you don’t live out the “Family” dynamic?  Well, a lot, I’m afraid.

I’ve watched over the years as students make choices to join Discipleship, participate (sometimes marginally, sometimes fully), step up in their tough 3rd year, and even stick it out in their senior year when things are really crazy.  I’ve seen people respond differently.  Some absolutely count their D-ship experience as one of the most formative things about college.  For others, it was something they enjoyed, but it didn’t form them.  And even for a few others, it felt like a commitment that they kept, but their heart was far from it.

I suppose that this experience is not dissimilar from how many people experience their faith.  There are Christians who follow Jesus passionate, love him sacrificially, and give themselves over to the painful process of becoming a disciple.  There are Christians who participate as long as they’re being fed.  And there are Christians that show up, serve here and there, but seem to be joyless in their faith.

Disciplesheep, please don’t get to the end of your 4 years here and find yourselves in the last category!  I beg of you!  I often say to the 3rd year team, if by the end of your time here, you know a lot about how to run a great program but you don’t know what it means to follow Jesus better, I have failed.  I will confess to you all that there have been times over the last 9 years when I have failed…and failed miserably.  There are alumni out there that I owe an apology letter to…I was too self-absorbed, or busy, or fearful to call it like I saw it and offer a word of loving correction to what I saw happening.  Since they’re not here, let me say this to you all:  don’t get tempted by the structures, the events, the extras that you lose what is at the core of what this program is all about.  Here’s what it’s all about:

  • Love God.
  • Love Others.
  • Serve the World.

That’s it.  I pray that you love God—with your head (that’s why I have you take classes), with your heart (that’s why we meet with covenant groups to grow in intentional relationship), with your hands (that’s why you learn skills by serving on a committee), and with your overall health (that’s why you have an opportunity to have a mentor).

I pray that you love others—your covenant group, your committee, your Shepherd Team, your seniors, your Director, your Campus, your world.  This is why the Fishers of People team exists—to show us how to reach out to our campus.  It’s also why the Social Team exists—to draw us together, help us enjoy one another.  The team that laughs together, knows one another, trusts each other, and cares will go to the moon and back in Christian love and sacrifice.

I pray that you serve the world.  This is why we have a Hands and Feet team and a community partner of an agency or organization in town.  This is why the Kingdom Committee invites us into prayer.  This is why we go on mission every year.

I confess to you all that I have failed in many ways during my time here.  Don’t worry, I don’t beat myself up too badly…God didn’t call me to be successful, he called me to be faithful, and I have been in most ways.  But here’s the point:  y’all, this program is special.  This opportunity to gather each week, to set aside time to pray, to intentionally share, to build trust, to grow, and to even get a scholarship and school credit for it…it’s SPECIAL!  I’ve perhaps failed the most because I’ve neglected to remind you all of that.  Please hear me now if you’ve never heard me before:  this is an opportunity to experience more love—from God, for God, from others, and for others.  It’s an opportunity to grow in your understanding of holiness.  You may not have much appreciation for holiness at this point in your life, but I do.  J  Holiness is the thing that makes us look more like Jesus.  It’s the way that my life can be poured out on behalf of a hurting world.  It’s the goal of “being perfect as your heavenly father is perfect.”  It’s not holier than thou, it’s not perfectionism, it’s taking steps to willingly lay down my human earthly desires and take on the mind of Christ, do his work in the world, and experience a peace of Christ that satisfies.  It is my hope and prayer for you and for the world, that we would be the people that God has called us to be.  It’s more than that, though.  It’s that we would allow the Holy Spirit to ruin our lives for God.

The other thing that I would say at this time has to do with your involvement in the local church.  I get it.  Most churches don’t get you very well.  They don’t help visitors engage well, they don’t have many opportunities to connect with you now or just after college, the sermons or the music may feel a little irrelevant.  However, let me offer you a challenge:  if you don’t like it, maybe it means that you should keep searching for another church who can engage you better, but it may just mean that you need to step up and help them make some changes!  You guys graduate from here with a boatload of great experiences.  They may not be that visible to you right now, but if you’re here in the program for at least 3 years, you’ll have the opportunity to lead your peers (maybe even some older than you), run a meeting, keep a budget, learn about communication, verbalize your faith story, write and lead a devotion, write and lead a bible study, and help to meet a need in the world.  This is gold, people!  You have valuable experience, perspective, and wisdom.  Add humility to the mix and what you can do in the world—especially in the CHURCH world—is unstoppable.  You need a Christian community through which you can live out your faith and the Church needs you and the gifts that you bring.  It’s a win, win.  You can start this now by connecting with a church—even if it’s not perfect—and opening yourself up to what God wants to do through his Body here on earth.  And then, when you graduate, find a place and plug in.  Don’t withhold the gifts that you have to offer Christ and the world.

Well, this is a whole lot of pressure—on you to receive my passionate plea in my last days here at Southwestern, and for me to say everything that I want to say.  But it’s actually not.  I really think that what it can be boiled down to is this:  I love you.  God loves you.  Now go and rest in that knowledge.  Be good to yourself—receive the Grace that God has offered you through Jesus Christ and extend it to others.  That’s the other important part—love one another.  Love the people in this room, but love the world, too.  Jesus said it in John 17 (his Farewell Discourse) that the world would know that he came from God by the unity of the believers.  It’s so true.  I pray that you would be unified in him.  The world without hope need to be reminded of that truth.

I’m so grateful for the privilege of knowing you all!  Each of you!  Some it’s been a brief time and for others it may feel like forever!    BUT, I am a richer person for having known each and every one of you.  As I wrap this up, I just want to say, if you get nothing else, Love God.  Love Others.  Serve the World.  If you get this, you get everything.

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Season Finale–My last Chapel at Southwestern College

Last Chapel, April 14

I announced several weeks ago that I had taken a position with the Great Plains Annual Conference as the Clergy Recruitment and Development Coordinator, effective this summer.  While exciting, it’s bringing a significant season of my life to an end.  I am wrapping up my second stint at SC with 9 years working in Campus Ministry.  To increase the intensity of this, I have spent 15 of the last 20 years here at Southwestern either being a student or working here.  And yet I’m sensing God’s call in my new position in an undeniable way, so it’s been exciting to experience God’s enduring call.  I preached for the last time as the Campus Minister (I’m hoping that they’ll give me an invite from time to time) last week.  Here’s the manuscript that I wrote.  I more or less preached it as written (with a few extra bits thrown in–at one point, one of my friends reportedly leaned over to another friend and said, “She’s just going to say whatever’s on her mind isn’t she?”  I suppose that’s the freedom in the “last sermon,” right?).  Anyway…here are some of my final thoughts to Southwestern College on the eve of my final weeks here.  The audio of the sermon is here


We’re finishing up our series:  The Gospel According to Popular Culture.  We wanted to have an opportunity to cultivate an awareness of where God is active in the world around us.  As I was thinking about how to end our year together, I thought about how TV shows come to an end:  The Series Finale.  As shows come to an end, we grieve what we are leaving behind in not being able to gather for the reunion of the lives of people who feel like our friends.

Take the show Friends for example.  Over the 10 seasons of it, I resonated the most with Monica and cheered on Ross and Rachel through all of their “breaks” and reunions.  I could sing along with Phoebe to Smelly Cat and laugh at Joey and Chandler.  I even had a “Page a day” Friends trivia calendar in Reid 204 during my senior year.  I will never forget the closing scene of Friends when they all turn in their keys to Monica and Chandler’s apartment.  It was incredibly moving.

Dramatic shows tend to really get me hooked, though…especially if they’re clever.  I got totally wrapped up in a show called ALIAS starring Jennifer Garner and man, I really thought that Sydney Bristow was saving the world!  She was a double agent for the CIA and what she thought was a black-ops team of the CIA but discovered WASN’T, and she solved international crises, personal crises, explored family secrets, and even showed how she was the one who was in a special prophecy.  I would get so wrapped up in the show that I had an inclination to pray for her!  That is some crazy stuff, y’all!  I would literally have to remind myself that it wasn’t real.  I have to admit, however, I was so disillusioned by the way the final season was ending that I can’t even remember the finale!

The TV show, however, that I was most wrapped up in and the Finale that I most anticipated was the TV show LOST.  LOST captured my attention the entire 6 seasons and I was waiting to see how it would resolve in the last year.  I don’t remember a series finale having more press and pressure than the LOST finale.  It was an ambitious plot with many layers of story (parallel universe, smoke monsters, characters names for philosophers and scientists, actual historical events, love, etc.).  Perhaps, however, LOST will go down in infamy for its finale, though.  Whereas each season finale kept the audience returning for more and more speculation and delight, the finale left everyone:  confused.  Various theories abounded and the writers had the gall to say, “The ending is open for interpretation.  However you want to interpret it, interpret it.”

I don’t know about you, but I want to know how the story ends.  Even if it’s not “happily ever after,” I at least want to know that my beloved characters have some kind of future together.  There’s always hope for a reunion show, right?  We tend to want to see shows resolve well and explain those mysteries that have been confounding us.  Did anyone catch the How I Met Your Mother finale?  I won’t spoil anything, but the whole entire show was based on answering that question of how Ted Mosby met his two kids’ mom.  The show took some twists and turns, hid some Easter Eggs along the way and then resolved into an ending that no one would have expected!

Without telling you the ending, I think that the show did 3 things that we want in a Finale.

  • We want resolution—to have our questions answered.
  • We want to feel like an insider—with little nods to running jokes and classic HIMYM humor.
  • We want to know that our beloved characters are going to be okay—we want to be able to predict/speculate on what their future might hold since we won’t get to witness it.

We get so attached to the stories, their questions, the characters, the lessons they’ve learned, the jokes—all of it!  We want…no, we NEED, to know if Ross and Rachel end up together, if the castaways get off the island, and how Ted Mosby met the mother of his kids.  Ultimately, I think our interest in the Series Finale is that we realize that we’re about to be left alone with just the story as it’s told.  Do we have all the information that we need in order to be satisfied?  Can the story stand alone?

As we approach Easter, we’re approaching the Series Finale in the Life of Christ.  I wonder if the disciples wanted the same things that we want out of a Finale:  resolution on their questions, to feel like an insider, to know that everyone is going to be okay.

I imagine the writers of a hit TV show in the meeting room talking about all the things that they have to cover in the final season of a show.  Which loose ends must they tie up?  Which characters can just disappear without much notice?  Which questions MUST they answer and which ones can they leave hanging?  In our story, Jesus is like the writers and he’s finishing up his final teachings before the end of the show.  It is particularly apparent in the Gospel of John.  There is a section starting in John 13 that is called the “Farewell Discourse.”  It is John’s version of the Last Supper—you know—the one that Leo daVinci painted and we often understand to be a Passover meal celebrated on Thursday evening of Holy Week.  In the “Farewell Discourse,” (John 13-17) Jesus is doing and saying everything left on his list to do and say in his final day.  Hidden in the middle of this text is our passage for today.  And I think that it has some Easter Eggs in it for us.

We all know what Easter Eggs are, right?  The things that we’re going to hunt on Sunday morning that have little surprises in them.  Well, a couple of years ago I heard the term “Easter Egg” being used to identify insider knowledge about a TV show, or even a website.  Facebook famously had several Easter Eggs that you could do to insert random pictures, change your language to Pirate or Upside Down English, etc.  LOST was constantly hiding little treasures into their shows—clues for astute observers to find.  In these cases, the Easter Eggs are extras—hidden gems that are mostly just for fun.  But as I looked back over the Farewell Discourse, it struck me how the teaching in John 13-17 is basically all the things that Jesus wants to make sure that they remember.

  • He washes their feet (John 13)
  • He calls out the person who will betray him (Judas) and the person who will deny him (Peter) (John 13)
  • He tells them that he is the way, the truth, the life (John 14)
  • He answers their eschatological questions:  they will have a home with him in heaven (John 14)
  • He says that in order for them to grow as a disciple, they must remain in him (John 15)
  • He gives them a new commandment:  Love one another (John 15)
  • He promises the Holy Spirit (John 14-16)
  • He predicts that they will have trouble (John 16)
  • He says that he’ll be back (John 16)
  • He prays for them (John 17)
  • He prays for you (John 17)

The passage that we read is what ties them all together.  Remember what I said was important about a good finale?  It’s something that gives us resolution, insider knowledge, and reminds us that our characters (and we as audience) will be okay.  This sermon is Jesus’ finale and he wants them to know that it’s not an unhappy ending.

He wraps up the story by telling them that they won’t have to figure things out by themselves.  He will be sending them the Holy Spirit.  Different translations use different words:  the Companion, Another Counselor, or the Comforter. He tells them the hard truth that they will endure difficulty—be kicked out of their religious community, or even killed.  Jesus is leaving them an Easter Egg so that when they feel threatened, they’ll remember that they’re not alone.

Can you imagine being the disciples?  They have spent all this time with Jesus, have seen miracles that he’s done, listened to his teaching, even gotten their feet washed by him.  He’s supposed to be the Messiah, the one who was sent by God to save Israel!  And now, he’s giving some teaching that sounds suspiciously like his last will and testament!  He tells them that though troubles come their way, the Holy Spirit will be there to teach them the way of truth.  Perhaps the way that Jesus will save Israel will look differently than they had expected.  Perhaps salvation is individual rather than national.  Perhaps Jesus hides his other Easter Eggs in teachings like “Love one another,” “I am the way, the truth and the life,” and “Serve others as you see me serving others.”

These are the Easter Eggs that we can find when we read this story.  What does it mean for you to rely on the Holy Spirit to guide you in all truth?  Have you recognized the Easter Eggs that Jesus left behind?

You have figured out by now that this is the last Chapel in which I get to preach as the SC Campus Minister.  I was tempted to make a list and tell you everything that I had left to tell you guys, but I refrained (mostly).  🙂 I decided that Jesus’ list from the Farewell Discourse was probably better than mine, anyway.  But I do have two bits of advice for you that I think bear repeating, if you haven’t heard me say them before.

The Holy Spirit is how God communicates with us.  He is the voice of God.  God’s voice is sometimes still and silent and sometimes overpowers us with such conviction that we wouldn’t even consider doing something another way.  The Holy Spirit is God’s gift to us as we live as God’s hands and God’s feet. I remember learning as a child an illustration of how we are connected to God.  We are the lamp, God is the light that shines from us, and the Holy Spirit is the cord.  Only when we are plugged in to God through the Holy Spirit can we shine God’s light.  It is your job and mine to cultivate practices when we are able to hear the Holy Spirit over the voices that take up residence in our heads and hearts.

This brings me to my second bit of advice that I have for you.  It is my contention that Jesus has left us a number of Easter Eggs in our world today.  A number of them have been left through his word—the things in the Farewell Discourse that I mentioned earlier.  I think we could study God’s word and then go and do it for the rest of our lives.  It’s not easy, but when we give our lives to following Jesus, we truly can find life.  The secret is that we find life by giving it up.  It’s not easy, but it is good.  How can you cultivate practices that allow you to hear and recognize the voice of the Holy Spirit in your Life?  How will you identify the Easter Eggs that Jesus has left behind for you?

I think that if we all lived our lives plugged in to the Holy Spirit and living out the teachings of Christ, the world would be a different place.  Southwestern College would be a different place.  We might find the ways to speak words of life into the people who are around us making choices that lead to death.  We might feel less entitled and more empowered to be a servant.  We might say I love you to people who need to know what it means to be loved and accepted and not ignored and overlooked.  What if we all lived our lives letting the Holy Spirit lead us?

I preach this sermon with a little fear and trepidation.  You see, as you all know, the Holy Spirit has led me away from Southwestern.  It’s nearly unfathomable to imagine not being with you all when classes start in August.  This August will be the first time in 20 years (plus 13 years of elementary, middle and high school) that I won’t go back to school—either for myself or for my job.  I honestly don’t quite know how I’ll handle it.  I will likely wander over to one of the universities in Lincoln, Nebraska where I’ll be living and sit in on a worship service or their move in day, just to soak in the excitement, anxiety, possibility, and sweat that represents a new year.  I preach this sermon saying that the Holy Spirit leads us and guides us—sometimes into difficulty.  And yet, it’s still the best thing for us to do.

I considered calling this sermon “Series Finale,” and based on what you’ve heard so far, you might think that is a better name for it.  But I’ve actually called it “Season Finale.”  A Series Finale implies that a show has met the end.  That we’ve been given all the information that we’re going to be given and that it’s over.  However, on a Season Finale, we know that it’s a cliffhanger.  A complication has been introduced—perhaps even one that seems to cut off some options.  But, in the Season Finale, we also know that there is hope for the story to continue to be told.  We can still seek the resolution of our questions.  We are still insiders to the Easter Eggs in the story.  And we can have hope that everything is going to turn out okay for the people that we love.

As Lent is wrapping up and we are heading toward Easter when we will celebrate the resurrection of Christ, we are heading not toward a Series Finale, but a Season Finale.  We can assume new life in Christ and that the Holy Spirit goes with us.  As I’m considering the Season Finale of my life at SC as Campus Minister, I’m recognizing that the Holy Spirit is leading me and when I feel lost, I can pick up the Easter Eggs that Jesus has left me all along the way.  I hope that you find them, too.  God, may it be true.

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Unity of the Spirit in the Bond of Peace for the Great Plains UMC


This last week, the clergy of the newly formed Great Plains annual conference joined together for an Orders and Fellowship meeting.  We had a speaker, some workshops, some worship, and a great deal of fellowship.  I had fun seeing colleagues and friends from all over the two state area.  Unbeknownst to me (perhaps others knew about it), the chairs of each of the orders were making a statement about the following two questions:

1.)  How do we live in the tension of upholding our covenant to follow and uphold the Discipline of the UMC while disagreeing with some positions of the Discipline?

2.)  How do we respond with grace and love, both corporately and personally when a colleague decides she/he can no longer live within that covenant?

Given the recent conversation in the UMC, the elephant in the UMC was named and it seems that we are going to begin to (try) to find unity in the bond of peace in the midst of great conflict.  After each chair of the orders made their statement, Bishop Jones made a statement, too.  It’s found here.  

On Thursday morning, Rev. Dr. Nanette Roberts of Grace UMC, Olathe, preached a powerful sermon, not without it’s provocative statements.  They announced that the video would be made available at some point.  I assume that it will eventually be found here.

So…it seems that we are going to have a conversation, or at least the door was opened for a conversation in the open, about where we as the Great Plains will be standing on pastors upholding the Book of Discipline.  Being a peacemaker and a prophet often don’t go hand in hand.  What will we do?  Who will we become?  How will we show love to each other in the conversation?


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Dorm Sweet Dorm: some advice for living well with others


I don’t know if I should be proud or ashamed, but in the decade between age 18 and age 28, I shared living space with 28 different women.  Here’s the breakdown:  10 roommates (for a minimum of a summer), 13 suitemates, and 5 different apartment-mates. 

Wow!  When I put it that way, it sounds like I don’t play well with others.  While that may be true for some, for me, I spent that decade in dorm rooms and campus apartments while I was in college and seminary and I even worked for 4 years in residence life.  I’m now in campus ministry and have many conversations with students who struggle with roommate challenges.  As the new school year is starting, I offer a little about sharing living space, compromising on climate control, and even about what it means to be a more faithful follower of Jesus. 

Communication is Key

While I initially loved having friends around every corner in the residence halls at my two schools, after 7 years, I finally got out of the dorms and moved into townhouse-style housing.  Our 3-bedroom space ensured the most privacy I had experienced since….ever, due to sharing space with my twin sister for our whole lives!  Upon moving into our townhouse, I was the one who anticipated living there the longest due to my roommates’ graduation, marriage plans, and jobs, so I called a house meeting and we discussed several things:  1.) pet peeves, 2.) mealtime expectations, and 3.) temperature of the house.  I knew that while one of my roommates didn’t like dishes left in the sink, I couldn’t stand someone putting a mostly empty ice cube tray back into the freezer, or using all but the last two squares of toilet paper.  (I mean, how much energy does it take to put on a new roll of TP?)  With our pet peeves discussed, we were able to not let “little” things crowd into our relationship with one another.

I also knew that we would have a kitchen for the first time in quite a while.  We were all looking forward to being able to cook, but with different schedules, we needed to discuss whether we wanted to share cooking responsibilities and eat together, share expenses, plan a weekly meal, or each person do her own thing.  While it may seem like a moot point—just let it happen and do what you want—we agreed that we wanted to share certain expenses, have weekly meals, and keep our hands out of each others’ food unless specifically invited.  With each new roommate, we discussed the expectations, and each time we let our schedules, diets, and habits be our guide.

Finding a happy medium on room temperature was a bigger deal in my experience in dorm life, but when we were suddenly paying utilities, some of us were hyper vigilant about not wanting to pay to air condition the outside, or were more willing to put on a sweatshirt.  Again, everyone has different preferences and the key is to be respectful of one another and be willing to give a little.


Don’t miss an opportunity for Christian Community

There is a lot of writing out there on intentional Christian community (Shane Claiborne, Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove, and their predecessor , Dietrich Bonhoeffer),  and while you may just be looking for someone to share expenses with, there may be an opportunity to take steps toward living out your discipleship by living with others.  Some general commonalities of many intentional Christian communities include sharing expenses (and even possessions), hospitality, engagement with the poor, and a shared, prayerful life.

Perhaps roommates aren’t all that interested in the spirituality of life together, but if they are, it can be an incredible opportunity to cultivate habits that stick with you, even after you no longer live together.  Over the years, I prayed with roommates and suitemates through a posted prayer list, other times it was occasional times in which we gathered for prayer.  One happy school year, I even prayed the bedtime Compline prayers from Phyllis Tickle’s Divine Hours prayer books with my college-aged niece who lived with me.  Having a rhythm of prayer in community with others even for a season shaped my own prayer life, but it also taught me about how others connect with God in prayer, too. 

Being aware of the values of living in community has ripples even when you no longer live in that community.  As I transitioned from living with roommates to being a homeowner and sole resident of my 2-bedroom house, I decided that my spare bedroom would be ready to host guests any time, which it has.  I keep a guest book in my extra bedroom and count at least 30 different guests over the last 8 years.  Learning to live in community while in college and grad school has prepared me for a life of opening my home to old friends, students in need, family members, and visiting ministry groups. 

Living with others, whether in college, summer internships, or even starting off in a new city, can be stressful…and it may be necessary.  Don’t despair:  it can also be a time of rich community, of learning about yourself and others, and you might even be surprised at how much fun it is!  You don’t have to want to be best friends with your roomie, but if you have clear communication and even engage a little spiritual intentionality, you’ll likely learn lessons about how God is working in you and in your community that you wouldn’t otherwise learn, even if you don’t always agree on the thermostat setting.  

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5 ways to Start on the Right Foot in College


It’s the time of year that college students everywhere are leaving behind their summer jobs, internships, and mom’s cooking for a return to the college campus. I have worked with college students for more than a decade now and I’ve discovered that sometimes classes can get in the way of their social lives.  I can’t say as I blame them…there are a lot of great people with whom to connect and lots of free activities at the beginning of the year of which to take advantage. 

However, the inevitability of homework, tests, and one’s academic career leads me to come up with a little advice.  So…I present, 5 ways to start on the right foot in college.  This is especially appropriate for my small, private college campus, but it’s solid advice for college students everywhere.


Assume that things are going to eventually slow down and you’ll be able to get on top of things.


 Start getting organized, even when things are crazy.  Put assignments on a master calendar. Set deadlines for yourself. 



Enjoy the first couple of weeks of school before the “real work” starts!  Stay up late and get to know new friends.  Skip the reading—the professors will tell you all the important stuff right before the test anyway.


Spend some time connecting or reconnecting with friends, but make sure that you are getting enough sleep to maintain your active life.  Stay current with the reading and make sure that you have the important parts identified when you get to class.



Skip classes and fail to communicate with your professor about your absences.


Go to class!  However, there will likely be a time that you have to miss class for an emergency.  Be sure to communicate with your professor IN ADVANCE via email.  Be prepared to do work to make up for your absence.  In some cases there won’t be any work that you can do to make up for it. 



Wait until the last minute to start your first research project…Have the attitude: “I’m sure that the library can help me find my necessary resources the day before it’s due.”


We do have an amazing library staff, but they won’t do research for you.  Take advantage of the opportunities that they offer to learn how the library works.  Then, Identify potential topics and do some research a month before a research project is due.  They’ll be able to Inter-Library Loan any resources that would be beneficial to you



Ignore campus resources if you find that you’re struggling a bit in a class.  Things are bound to turn around.


Speak up if you find yourself behind, or even just confused about your subject matter.  Ask the professor if there is a tutor for the class.  Find your way to the tutoring center on campus or set regular study hours with a group of classmates.  Also, find out if there is a writing center if you’ve got angst over that first big paper.  Also, don’t be afraid to set up an appointment with your professor during his/her office hours to seek additional help.


The outcome of your semester could very well be a result of some of the first steps of this semester.  Don’t waste these first few weeks.  You’ll thank yourself later.

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Back-to-School Blogathon at Faithoncampus.com

For the last several years, Guy Chmieleski, over at Faith on Campus has been organizing a Back-to-School blogathon.  He solicits a dozen campus ministers, writers, thinkers, and pastors to write articles that can get you thinking about ministry with young adults.  He’s asked me to write for his blogathons various times over the years and I wrote one for this year.  It’s called: Taking Care of Yourself–for real this time!  Take a look!

By the way, the Kansas Leadership Center that I allude to can be found here.

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